Sunday, August 21, 2016

The Shriek Of Summer

Summer heat hot up the car as we hit the road to Lena, a silky-long-haired chic and the most talkative among my small circle of best friends, in her apartment in Lapulapu City. I was not able to feel the scorching heat of the sun since Carlos' Ford Everest was highly air-conditioned.
"I'm excited about this", Diana, who sat next to me at the backseat, cheerfully expressed her excitement about our summer escapade to Lena's province, Samar, as she grabbed the potato chips inside the tube of Pringles  and ate them. She really loves eating but her figure doesn't show it.
"me too. I can't wait. It's our first time to travel outside Cebu together", Paris, Carlos' girlfriend, excitedly concurred with Diana as she twisted her body to face us and leaned on the head rest of the front seat. We are all excited about this trip. I know Carlos too though he doesn't talk that much.
Lena was all packed up when we arrived.
"are you all ready to be killed by the beauty of my home province", she thrillingly spilled her first talk of the day.
"hahaha", we all laughed. She always talks weirdly and talks non-stop. We knew she would, soon. If only Ylona were here, this trip would be a blast. But I know she is in good hands now.
Clear blue skies. Tides were fair. Wind blew just enough for my skin to feel the breeze of the sea as I leaned against the cold iron fence of the deck and watched the dark blue sea waters splashed. An omen of a safe trip.
We were all singing Let's Get This Party Started by Pink as Carlos played it in his stereo. Lena was on the front seat giving him directions of our destination. I looked outside the window. There were no skyscrapers only sights of relaxing, green surroundings caused by the nature-cultivated bushes and trees, far distant mountain ranges covered with fog, far-neighboring houses, and an odd, old woman sweeping outside her old house who sinisterly stared at us when we passed by. The in-the-car party continued. We were all surprised when Lena brought us to her grandmother's place---a big, old, beautifully designed, wood-made, two-story house in the middle of the woods. We were expecting to be at her family's house. But we found it more exciting here.
I saw a deep-well just at the back portion of the house and I could hear the gushing water of the nearby creek. The house were surrounded with trees and dried leaves and twigs on the ground. I saw a creepy, old house not too far from the deep-well where I washed my hands. There was a man, in his late-twenties, who glanced at the window then hurriedly closed it. I focused on the window curiously as I felt the cool wind slapped my bare skin ----
"----his name is Johnny. He lives there after his father was murdered", Lena suddenly spoke.
"c'mon Jade. Help us with our things. Don't bother him", she added.
The moon showed its magnificence, taking a glimpse at the window, as we formed a circle on the carpet of the living room playing truth or dare with two bowls of popcorn and a case of beer. Our loudest laugh echoed across the woods.
"where's Lena anyway?", Diana asked after she went back getting another case of beer. The front door opened and Lena entered the house with a man, with broad shoulders and a skull tattoo on his right arm, with a very familiar face. Oh, it was Johnny.
"speaking of the devil!", I sounded out as they both entered with Johnny looking timid.
Lena introduced Johnny to everyone and we continued the game. Johnny was so silent and only seemed observing us. He barely moved but his eyes were so menacing as they looked upon each of us. The bottle pointed to Diana and she chose dare without any second thought.
"kiss Johnny", Paris dared Diana, and we all cheered her up.
She then crawled like a cat towards Johnny. She was drunk. They kissed torridly shamelessly as we watched them with a shock upon our faces. We were not surprised to what she did but to Johnny. He also had the attitude.
The time was passed nine in the evening. House was silent. I heard nothing but crickets. Several bottles were down. My head ached and my vision was kinda blurry. I saw Diana went out of the house with Johnny next to her. It looked like I knew where they were going. Carlos and Paris seemed quarrelling as they went up stairs. They always did. I was the only one left in the area. I rested my back on the sofa feeling helpless and closed my eyes and suddenly fell asleep.
diiinnnnng doooooonnnng!
I was awakened by the deafening noise of the grandfather clock that resounded throughout the house. The room was still empty and it seemed no one had heard the midnight alarm. I went outside to grasp some fresh air and to look for them. As I sat on the bench near the well, I thought I saw a rope tied thru the leg of the bench. I went curious about it so i traced the direction of the rope. It went below the well so I grabbed it and it was heavy. I pulled it hard. I was dead shock when I found out it was Diana. My knees trembled as I saw her naked, dead. There were words carved on her back that said: "I am a bitch". Then I heard a shriek of a woman which I thought came from the creek.
"HEEEELP!".
It sounded like Lena. I hurriedly ran towards the nearby creek. I was damn right for it was her, whose hands were tied up with a rope which was clung to a tree, soaked to the  streaming waters of the creek. I rescued her from a slow but certain death. She did not mind the wounds on her body when she hugged me tight feeling thankful crying.
"what happened? Who did this? Where are Carlos and Paris?", I screamed at her trying to get an answer of the disaster that happened. She did not utter even a single word. She was freezing and was in a state of shock. So I brought her back to the house in her room and covered her with a comforter.
"don't leave me. I'm scared", she cried.
"I'm scared too but I need to find the others. Diana's dead".
She wept upon knowing that Diana's gone. I locked and left the room then quickly roamed every corner of the house as I held with me a butcher's knife for my self defense. No one was there. I went to the car in the garage. The tires were deflated. I opened the door and I found Paris whose throat was slit with her eyes opened as a result of an unwanted sudden death. Blood was everywhere. I felt like collapsing but instead, I grabbed Paris' cell in her pocket. There's no signal. I wondered where was Carlos then a thought of Johnny suddenly crossed to my puzzled mind.
"yes, Johnny. He must have done this".
I quickly went to his old house. The smell was terrible. Lights out. Good thing I had brought Paris' phone with me which can be used as a flash light. In his room, I saw him sitting on a chair in front of the TV playing a tape of his childhood with his father. I carefully went inside with my knife ready to attack.
"Johnny, why!?", I loudly whispered but he did not respond.
I slowly touched her shoulder and grabbed him to turn his face around only to find two chopsticks pierced thru each of his eyes. Blood flew. His shirt was cut open with "I forgive you" engraved on his blood-covered chest. I was more puzzled.
"who could have done this? Where is Carlos?", I mumbled. I went back to the house and heard Lena screamed.
"Carlos! No."
I quickly ran to Lena's room. With a crowbar, he tried to mess up her face. So I tackled him and rained several stabs that he was not able to make a fight or even a sound. I killed Carlos. I looked at my hands and there was blood all over me. I felt guilty, shocked, and empty. I could no longer hear the surroundings. I felt lost and -----Lena hit me with the crowbar. I fell to the ground. My senses came back.
"you killed them? Why?", I asked confusingly.
"you let my sister die. All of you let Ylona die", she screamed.
"no we don't. We tried but we couldn't help her. We're too late", I answered as I shriek with every hit of the crowbar on my body.
We were on a summer outing in an undeveloped falls in Ginatilan, southern part of Cebu, last year. Lena was not able to come but Ylona did, her younger sister. I and Diana were busy preparing for our lunch while Carlos and Paris were taking photos of the very beautiful place. Ylona,unnoticed, jumped to the deep waters. She drowned.
"you all got to pay". She hit me again. I cried because of the pain. My body had weakened.
"what about Johnny? Huh?", I asked trying to buy time as I obscurely reach for the knife.
"he's only a victim of his perverted father's crime towards me. I forgave him anyway", she anguishedly answered. She again tightly gripped the crowbar and tried to hit me. I rolled and avoided her blow. I kicked her left knee that made her fell to the ground then mercilessly struck her with the knife in her chest. She groaned and was not able to say a word as I pushed the knife in. She died with her eyes open with tears flowing.
The light of dawn glanced at the window. I hear no sound at all as I kneeled looking at my friends who died before me. I see nothing but blood all over the place which made me sick. I smelled burning candles; the smell of each other's perfume. I thought nothing but the happy memories once we had that died along with them. I felt nothing but complete emptiness.


Saturday, July 30, 2016

The Fallacy of Second Chance



I gave myself a wink as I looked at the mirror while combing my black, short-trimmed hair. I was getting ready for my date with Elise. I made sure I look good with my plane pink long sleeves tucked in my black, leather-belted pants with a pair of shiny, black, pointed shoes since I'd be going with her who was very fine and fair. We'd been together for four years now and we still were working exquisitely. I looked at my watch and it's almost 7 o'clock in the evening. I quickly went in my silver grey Ranger and drove to Delizioso, an Italian restaurant where we always dine out, where she was waiting. I called her to check if she's alright.



"I'm sorry I'll be late again. Are you okay right there?"



"its alright and I'm okay".



"just wait for me a little bit".



"okay. Just take care. I'll be waiting for you. I love you".



"I love you more".



I hanged up the phone while waiting for the green light on the intersection. As I shifted to first gear, a cargo truck on the other side crossed in red light with extreme speed. I couldn't maneuver and didn't have any way to evade our collision.



It was Sunday last year when we had our third anniversary same place, same time. Again, she was there waiting, mad. She still looked gorgeous, as ever, when I saw her at the glass window sitting on our fave part of the resto, in the corner just below the warm led light, while I passed with a bouquet of pink, scented roses. She was so angry with me that our supposed-to-be-merry evening turned out to be a sad, UFC championship night. She didn't communicate with me for weeks. I guess it's always part of a relationship-----all day quarrel. It's never a big deal for us anyway. We also thought that an easy relationship, with no ups and downs, is boring. But I don't want her to get mad at me again. I don't want to lose contact with her ever.

I heard a monotonic sound. Static. And it was dark. Then I saw a closed door which I knew that beyond it is a lighted room because the rays could be seen from the sides. As I opened it, the light blinded me for a moment and I found a huge white room. Boundless, I could say. And a man whose body was so bright I couldn't stare and see his face.

"where am I? Who are you? Am I dead?" I asked the man.

"YES, YOUR BODY IS. BUT YOUR SOUL IS NOT", he answered with his very soothing, deep, loud voice. I remembered what happened and connected all the dots. It was easy for me to understand what the man was saying but I couldn't accept it because I knew that Elise was waiting for me at the restaurant, mad and hungry.

"Is this heaven or hell?"

"NEITHER. THIS IS THE PLACE OF THE UNREST; FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO GO BACK AND I KNOW YOU DO".

"Is there a way? Can I?

"YES. BUT GOING BACK COSTS SOMETHING AND TAKES A LOT OF COURAGE TO FACE EVERYTHING WHAT YOU HAVE LEFT."

I was puzzled but I didn't care at all ---- the risks, everything. All I care about is to be with her again. The man asked me to close my eyes whenever I was ready. As I opened them, I found myself alone in a small room full of scattered cans of paint and canvases, and several bottles of beer with sweat all over me. The room was hot. I heard the screeching of tires, loud horns, and I saw buildings, busy people on the street, as I looked outside the seemed-to-be abandoned apartment. I was in the city which was kilometers away from Elise's place. I went to the dirty bathroom to clean my self up. I saw a tall man with broad shoulders, detailed chest and abs, long, curly hair, unshaven beard, and a dirty pair of pants, when I looked at the mirror. I was stunned. I couldn't believe it. The man behind the mirror was not me, physically.

"how can I be able to tell Elise that this is me?" I mumbled to myself perplexed on how to introduce this dirty, poor painter to the woman of my life. This man is not me, totally. I panicked and rushed to her place. The place had changed a bit. The mango tree beside her house is no longer there but a half basketball court. Hesitatingly, I pushed the doorbell. A not familiar face went out of the door.

"yes? What can I do for you mister?"

"Is Elise here?"

"Elise?"

"yes. Elise Montenegro".

"ahhh. You mean the previous owner of this house? I don't know where she is but I've heard she migrated to Canada with her family last year", the woman replied. I was confused even more. I thought it was just yesterday. "thank you. Sorry but I have this short memory loss, What date is it now?" I asked the woman with that embarrassing question. "Today is October 26, 2015, Monday", she answered with a sarcastic tone as she smiled with ridicule written all over her face. I was dazed of what I had found out. It was already three years ago since that incident. I went back to the apartment to think of ways to contact her. I cried helplessly. But instead, I kept myself up thinking that she must have waited for me ---- as what her last words told me. She always does.

"this is my shot. I have to use the second chance God has given to me".

The man was a very good painter but his assets were near to none. I just needed to raise the bar for this man. He got looks and immense talent in painting. I just needed to use it.

It had been two years since then. I had climbed my way to one of the most respected modern painters of my generation. I succeeded and now all that's left is to accept the invitation to have a dinner with her. She now owns an advertising company based in Canada and she wanted me to sign up with her offer to publish my works in her magazine. She wanted to meet me because of business while I saw it as an opportunity to tell her the truth. I picked Delizioso, in our fave spot, at 7 o'clock, and ordered our fave food, to let her give an impression of my true identity. She seemed to be in a deep thought as she played the white spaghetti with her fork.

"are you okay?"

"yes. It's just so nostalgic. Anyway...". She changed the topic and proceeded to the business offers. My attention was not in the proposals but rather to her lips which I long to kiss. She gave me the contract with a pen on it.

"you may sign it now, Mr. Rodriguez. You really are a great break for our company and you will need us too".

I smiled thinking of how beautiful, serious, witty, and successful she'd become; and how she still amazes me even for not seeing her for five long years.

"you need my sign and I'll consider that a favor".

"okay. I'm getting it. What do you need?"

"I'll sign if you'll look at my almost-done, latest painting. Maybe you could criticize it to be part of your magazine. It's in my house".

"I love your every work, Mr. Rodriguez. I guess there is no need -----"
"----- I refuse". I insisted as I crumpled the contract in front of her and looked her in the eyes, with a very calm voice.

"come in". She slowly opened the door and entered. I could see her eyes widen with her jaw slightly dropped as she saw me painting, topless. I served her a cup of tea and placed ourselves on the table.

"may I see it?"

She saw a restaurant which she recognized to be Delizioso and a woman which was leaning against the glass window, waiting. She was wearing a beautiful pink dress and a pair of glittering pearl earrings.

"the place, the gesture, the dress, everything...it's me. Impossible". Her lips trembled as she spoke with an amount of tears in her eyes ready to drop. It's clear that she was bewildered, totally confused and couldn't believe everything. I thought this would be the right time to tell her the truth.

"El, its me. Richard".

She sat on the chair near the canvass thinking deeply with her tears continuously flowing. "its impossible. How could you know this? Are you stalking me? How could --------". I kissed her on the lips. Electrons on our body. I can feel them rejoicing. It's all chemistry and it's all coming back. It felt like the first time I kissed her. She kissed back. I knew she felt it too. I knew she believed me now. The doubts were just blown away as the wind swept the entire room. I couldn't explain the feeling I felt or even paint it on the canvass. It's just so out of this world which could only be understood by two souls and a heart we both shared.
"you've always been waiting for me. And now I'm here. We can start all over again. Forget Emanuel Rodriguez. It's me, Richard. The man who loves you with no boundaries".
"I've waited for you. Y-y-o-ou d-died. H-he-he ha-hap-happened." She sobbed so hard she hardly caught her breath.

"he? Who's he?

"rich, I'm already married. It's been five long years. Do you know how it feels to not being with you? I've died everyday for four years, Richard. What do you want me to do? You can't expect me to wait forever for nothing. You died". She wept. My heart was like being soaked with acid, warm and numb. The torment of her words was excruciating my entire body, knees trembled, hands were shivering. I don't want to move. I just want to instantly stop breathing as I can feel my heart beat faster. The wind blew hard again that made the canvass fell to the ground. The sky suddenly cried with me. I regretted a lot of things I didn't know where to start. If I just had gone early, I must have not been in an accident. If I just had accepted my death, no, if I just had contacted her earlier. I'd wasted my chance, the only chance I'd got.

"do you still love me?"

"I loved you. I always do. He loves me and I've moved on. I'm married and it's not a contract I can just crumple".

Yes. She is absolutely right. Everything is clear to me now.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Life In The Face Of Death

As I sit at a bench in the plaza waiting while the breeze of a countryside wind whispers to each pore of my skin, I saw different people doing different things. Some rushed to the buildings and some were walking out of the place crying. "Is this life I am looking?",I mumbled to myself. Its like the wind that brushes the leaves of the swinging trees as I hear its euphonious rhythms. Yes nature. Life is like nature. It can be pleasant but sometimes mean. Life is a co-existence of nature, I suppose.


I saw a little boy, all dirty and barefooted, played innocently with the dirt. He had no parents with him. "Is this how it ends for him?", I asked myself feeling pity of the little boy who knows nothing of what happened. He then approached me and opened his hand with undeniably dirty nails, a gesture of begging for something, with his face imbued with fake pitiful emotion trying to fool me. I am annoyed of his obvious portrayal of bad attitude. But still, I gave him all the money I've got and water. It didn't matter to me anyway at this very moment. He wasn't able to believe what I just gave him then ran away without even thanking me. I realized many things with that experience. It inspired me to write my last note as a journalist. So I got my baked notebook and pen and started to write a note:


"To whoever reads this:

Life is really fair because it is unfair to everyone. There are always these bi-directional events ---- happiness and sadness, success and failure, good and bad, and many things. I say everything. There is no chance of survival, sooner or later, if people refuse to change for themselves. Anyway, you, people, can't control other persons' ideals so you need to focus with yours. Try to stop seeing others' failures and just do whatever you do to succeed, in your career or relationships, without stamping others' rights. One girl had told me that 'life isn't about survival'. I didn't understand it before but now i realized it is exactly what life is all about. Just choose to be happy and live life the way you want it to be. There may be, im sure, regrettable events in our part, but just extract the lessons they brought and bury them deeply. We'll never know when the world ends." ----


The wind blew hard and my notebook flew with it. I tried to catch it but i was too late so i decided to let it go. At least, it may change someone's stand in life whoever picked it. I got my phone out of my pocket and try to call her.


"the number you dialed is out of the coverage area. Please try again later", the network operator automatically responds.


I dialed her number several times but to no avail. So I just waited for her patiently. Then a very familiar voice called my name.


"John!"


It was Mary. She smiled at me with no trace of worries on her face. I smiled back. We were alone in the plaza. I hugged her tightly and kissed her gentle lips.


"Are you ready"


"Yes I am".


We held hands, as the ground trembled, waiting for the huge 100-meter-high tsunami after a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit the seabed. I could hear the gushing water of the killer wave as screams, one by one, faded, and the creaking of the uprooted trees.


"Aren't we gonna run?"


"No we don't need to. As you once told me, 'life is not about survival'. I have lived my life the best way I could. No regrets. I'm happy to die with you. Mary, I choose death with you than a life without you. I choose happiness".



We closed our eyes and hugged for the last time.

Monday, June 27, 2016

The Prostitute And I

In the dark alley along the avenue,
I saw a girl, I think she's new.
I went to her and ask her so.
She told me she was, so it's my cue.

I asked her, "how much are you"?
She said, "I'm free for now, I've a promo".
"And why is that?", I asked her again.
"I'm broke so I could forget this pain".

I grabbed her arms and got in the car.
Drove in speed from the place to the bar.
And then went out after a glass of beer
And drove with me with no trace of fear.

Together she's not a prostitute
And I not a customer in pursuit.
She's broken and so am I.
I'll be happy tonight before I'll die.

I, The Poet And You, My Poetry

You,
a woman with a keen ear of my beating soul,
never fail to dazzle me.
I,
a poet who writes novice verses,
always take delight to the sensuous thought of you.

Mornings never seize to exist when you,
my dear,
shine like the sun in the east;
Like the dark skies full of stars at night
that mirrors through the plain sea.

Fear not for my verses are still true;
I forget them never for they are locked inside my heart.
With time as the key,
it will always be opened,
continue to spill them onto you,
to dazzle and make you fall for me even more
as I to you.

I Want To Paint Orgasm

I want to paint orgasm.
Its figure and form.
Its meaning and ways.
I'll start with dipping my brush
Into your bucket
With the wet hues of scented pink.
And let me borrow your skin
To be my canvas.
I'll lighten my fingers
Just to slightly touch the surface
Of your sumptuous curves
And take a stroke to your mouth.
Then I'll never stop dipping.
Not until all colors are painted
To your soul.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

We Are Like A Fictional Work Of Art



We are like a fictional work of art.
We are the two characters of a short story
But everytime I'm with you in a setting
The world just becomes so epic
Despite we only opened few of our chapters.

Our actions sometimes rise
Which lead us to immortal conflicts
Which then result to drama.
If we were not strong enough,
We would have concluded into a tragedy.

We exchange unscripted lines
That battles that of Shakespeare's plays.
And thru our passionate kisses
Our names become legends
And our souls become the magic of poetries.